Trail Mix #28: Return On Intention

Creating a life that’s rich in experiences, courage, curiosity, and purpose.

In this Trail Mix I’m exploring the (mostly) American obsession with Return on Investment as a construct we’ve largely been taught to convince us to work harder to save money for “someday”, as opposed to focusing on Return on Intention as a means to living a “richer” life.

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We’ve all heard of ROI, or Return on Investment.

The more I write on here, the more I have started to question if we’ve been optimizing for the wrong return.

What if the most important ROI in life is Return on Intention?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “riches” as “things that make one rich: wealth”. The majority of dictionaries in my searches also defined oil/mineral/property/resources etc as “riches”. Only ONE, Dictionary.net, also described riches as, “Metaphorical Wealth: An ample supply of non-tangible assets like knowledge or experiences enriching one’s life.”

I found that to be an interesting reflection on our modern society that I think bears examination.

In my post “Life Expectancy vs Healthy Life Expectancy”, I wrote about how I had spent much of my life buying into the preaching of the Suze Orman guru types that the only way I would be able to have a “comfortable” retirement was if I could sock away one million dollars or more in an investment/IRA/401k account.

But no matter how hard I worked, I struggled to just pay the rent or mortgage, with limited finances left over to enjoy little things for myself and basically nothing left to save. It felt like these so-called financial experts were totally disconnected from the majority of us who were fortunate if we actually owned a modest home, who had little or nothing left over to save at the end of the month. It also felt like it was hopeless that I would ever be able to retire or live my dreams. And sadly, this is the reality for many of our seniors today.

However, there are those like me who may have gotten lucky and hit the housing market at the right time to buy, or who may have managed to put away a few hundred thousand dollars, who are still working with the belief that we will always have to struggle to make ends meet, and who’s dreams get put on the back burner every year.

And yet, we are not penniless. We have assets. It’s just that we have been convinced that we don’t have enough invested to get the “return on investment” to live what THEY have determined to be the definition of a comfortable life.

So, what would life look like if we looked at ROI not as Return on Investment, but rather as a Return on Intention? What if we put our intention towards living a full life with what we actually have, rather than waiting until we reach that magic number that we have been told is necessary for us to be successful and deserving of a “comfortable” life.

I ask this because somewhere along the way, many of us start measuring our lives almost entirely by numbers.

Income.
Net worth.
Home value.
Retirement account.

Useful numbers, certainly.

But I wonder whether we’ve become so focused on measuring what we own that we’ve forgotten to measure whether we’re actually living.

What if we looked at our actions and intentions and asked ourselves if those things brought us a joyful, more vibrant, more fulfilled life? And if not, what could we change, within our means, in order to bring those attributes into our life?

So let’s explore this concept:

The Return on Time

Our time on this earth is limited. Some may make it into their 90’s. Others won’t make it to retirement. Just because someone makes it to their 90’s doesn’t mean that they lived to anywhere near their potential. And this shows up in the studies of the regrets of the dying.

In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, Bronnie Ware tells us that the #1 regret is this:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

We often say “I’ll do it someday”, or “I’ll do it when…….”, but someday and when never happen. We let life get in the way, rather than intentionally making time for the things we love. Before we know it, the body no longer cooperates with us and our chance at achieving those dreams is in the rear view mirror.

Challenge Question: How many moments have I spent feeling fully alive instead of simply occupied? And what actions can I put in place to achieve my dream of ______________?

I find great joy in my West Coast Swing dancing, and I have intentionally created a life that allows me to spend at least a few hours a month on the dance floor with my friends. There are few places that I can count on where I know I can just live in the moment and be fully alive in the way this dance does for me. Even when life is frenetic, or money is tight, I make time and find a way to get to a dance even if it means driving 2 hrs each way for 3 hrs of dance.

But I never managed to make the time to pursue my other passion...worldwide travel...until last year when I started the process of downsizing my life and learning about the slow travel lifestyle. I just accepted that it wouldn’t be possible for me because I bought into the belief that I needed a lot of money to make it happen until I spoke with the Nomad in Asheville when I was there helping with the Hurricane Helene cleanup. Since that day, I have been putting my intention and focus on figuring out how to achieve this dream.

The Return on Courage

Often, we don’t follow our dreams because of fear.

• Fear of failure or not being good enough

• Fear of being judged

• Fear of the unknown

• Fear of something bad happening

The list goes on and on. We often know those fears are irrational, yet we allow them to run our lives and stop us from pursuing a job, a relationship, or an adventure that could be the thing that really lights us up and brings us happiness.

Challenge Question: What have I done in my past that became possible because I finally did something that scared me? What fear do I need to overcome to achieve my dream of ______________?

I have to admit; I stayed in a relationship too long because I was scared of being alone. I just didn’t want to have to get back on the dating treadmill again. But I finally just had to admit to myself that the relationship wasn’t bringing me happiness. He was a good man. That’s why I stayed so long. But he wasn’t the right person for me. What became possible is that I finally got my relationship with MYSELF. Who I am today is a very different person than that woman 15 years ago. And BTW, I’m still single, because I have come to be at peace with myself, and anyone who comes into my life now will need to be someone who knows how to communicate and makes me want to be a better person.

One of my biggest fears right now is getting it wrong when it comes to managing my finances on the road when I take the leap into slow travel. I don’t have a lot, so I really have to ensure that I put things like a good budget plan in place and ensure that the money from the sale of my house is safely invested. What I am doing right now is reading all I can from those who have gone before me, and I have found someone on Substack who I plan to enlist to help me when I’m a little closer to taking the leap to organize a system that will work for me.

The Return on Curiosity

I have to say I’ve always been an incredibly curious person. I want to know the whys and how’s of everything from how to change an electric outlet to why people do what they do.

Unfortunately, as we get older, we often lose the curious nature that we had as a child. It’s easy to slip into being satisfied with what we know, or to allow our ego to run the show. Life can become stressful and make it harder for us to look outside of our bubble because we are just too worn out to put energy into something new. This is likely part of the reason that certain places become tourist hot spots...it’s easier to book a package tour of Paris than to do some research and see what might be hidden a few blocks over from the Eiffel Tower.

Challenge Question: When was the last time I let curiosity lead me, and what did I learn? Where could I let go of knowing and allow myself to be a beginner again, and where might that take me?

My most recent big dive into curiosity was after I spoke with that nomad in Asheville. My perception of a nomad was one of someone who was a drifter, a hippie type, living in a rickety van or maybe hitchhiking their way across the country. Funnily, the guy I talked to kind of fit that stereotype, but I was impressed at how he dropped everything and found his way to Asheville to help with the clean-up, and I learned from him that there were many people living the lifestyle from all walks of life. It was that conversation that put me on the path as a self-described Nomad-in-Training.

Where I could let go of knowing would be in my career as a Massage Therapist. I’ve done this for 22 years now, and I’ve done a slew of courses over the years. And even though I am retiring, this is something I want to continue to study and learn about, especially when it comes to expanding my understanding and techniques around foot health, care and manual techniques because this is an area that I want to grow in so I can help educate fellow travelers, especially Camino pilgrims and the like, so that they can continue to pursue their walking and hiking adventures.

Investing In Your Life

I honestly could write another whole post continuing this exploration. And maybe I will in the future. But for now, I’ll leave you with some prompts for you to continue to explore for yourself. What if you focused your intentions into things like

• Experiences: What would it look like if you started collecting stories instead of possessions

• Relationships: Who do you have in your life that you would like to get to know better?

• Living a Life You Love: What would it take for you to make one of your dreams come true while you still have the ability to make it happen?

Measuring What Matters Most

Financial investments matter. They can provide security, opportunity, and peace of mind. But perhaps we’ve made the mistake of treating them as the destination instead of the tool.

A well lived life isn’t measured only by what grows in your investment account. It’s also measured by what grows inside you.

Your courage.

Your curiosity.

Your relationships.

Your experiences.

Your willingness to intentionally spend your limited time creating a life you’ll be grateful you lived.

Maybe that’s the return worth measuring.

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